Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Dusting Myself Off

"He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good." -Anonymous

Hello friends! Well some time has passed since we've last chatted and I have truly missed you all. I suppose I should first start by saying that I am blessed to have the support, encouragement, and well wishing by my true friends. I have been through alot since March, but nothing as bad as the last 20 years of my life. For the first time in my adult life I have a freedom from active addiction. I have 178 days clean today and that is also a personal best. This may not sound like much to the average person, but for someone who was enslaved by drugs and alcohol for most of their life, it is paramount! I am very proud of myself and I will continue to move forward knowing that this race is far from over. I still need to focus on staying clean. Life has showed up and I am learning to deal with it in a positive and constructive way. I am not trying to do it on my own either. I have the support of a few good friends who help me to stay on the right track. One of those people I'm truly blessed to have in my life. She has show me the there is a life for me and if I want more, I have to try harder. She doesn't let me slack up. She is my best friend and I am truly honored and proud to have you in my life. Thank You RS! OLIVE JUICE...LOL

So what else am I up to? Well I have been pounding the pavement looking for work now. I have to move my life forward and I can't do that without work. It is hard and the job market is slow, but I know opportunities will arise soon. I have always liked helping others and I would love to do that. To tell the truth, I don't care what comes my way. I have also come to a point in my recovery where I need to start making amends to the people I have hurt along the way. This is a really difficult area for me. Not that I don't want to, it's the fact that it is hard for me to face some people. I will just pray and walk with my higher power. I cannot go around it or under it, I have to face it head on.

Sitting here writing now has given me strength to conquer any problem that comes up. I really wish I could have harnessed the courage and strength to fight 6 months ago, but I believe I had to go through this to be stronger and appreciate life and the value of friendship. I will close this by saying... I am truly sorry for adding any extra burden, pain, distrust and loss of hope in your life. I will be posting quite often to keep you updated. Until then...Peace and Love