Wednesday, December 2, 2009

What I'm Thankful For

"Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think."

Hello Friends! Wow it been awhile. First let me just say that it is good to be clean. I say that for a number of reasons. One being the fact that I see that I can overcome obstacles that come in my way with a clear mind. Two is because I just feel better! I still encounter setbacks in life ( not using) like being laid-off, that I have to find inner strength to keep moving forward. I still feel that as long as I stay on the right path, all will be well. I have someone very special in my life that helps me muster that strength to fight for my life. I also have friends that I can talk to if I have a problem. I also have YOU! I come back here sometimes to just read what I have wrote and the comments you have made. I cherish them all.

Through all of this there has been a constant. An unwavering fact that amazes me...God and my friends have always believed in me. It is hard for me to understand it sometimes and some say maybe its not to be my understanding. All I know is that's what I am thankful for. That's where some of that strength comes from. I know I'm not a bad person, just put myself in bad positions. Not to deny my responsibility for my actions, I stay accountable for my sins, I just choose to not repeat them. Thank you all for the life I live now and the life I see for my future. Until next time...Peace and Love


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Dusting Myself Off

"He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good." -Anonymous

Hello friends! Well some time has passed since we've last chatted and I have truly missed you all. I suppose I should first start by saying that I am blessed to have the support, encouragement, and well wishing by my true friends. I have been through alot since March, but nothing as bad as the last 20 years of my life. For the first time in my adult life I have a freedom from active addiction. I have 178 days clean today and that is also a personal best. This may not sound like much to the average person, but for someone who was enslaved by drugs and alcohol for most of their life, it is paramount! I am very proud of myself and I will continue to move forward knowing that this race is far from over. I still need to focus on staying clean. Life has showed up and I am learning to deal with it in a positive and constructive way. I am not trying to do it on my own either. I have the support of a few good friends who help me to stay on the right track. One of those people I'm truly blessed to have in my life. She has show me the there is a life for me and if I want more, I have to try harder. She doesn't let me slack up. She is my best friend and I am truly honored and proud to have you in my life. Thank You RS! OLIVE JUICE...LOL

So what else am I up to? Well I have been pounding the pavement looking for work now. I have to move my life forward and I can't do that without work. It is hard and the job market is slow, but I know opportunities will arise soon. I have always liked helping others and I would love to do that. To tell the truth, I don't care what comes my way. I have also come to a point in my recovery where I need to start making amends to the people I have hurt along the way. This is a really difficult area for me. Not that I don't want to, it's the fact that it is hard for me to face some people. I will just pray and walk with my higher power. I cannot go around it or under it, I have to face it head on.

Sitting here writing now has given me strength to conquer any problem that comes up. I really wish I could have harnessed the courage and strength to fight 6 months ago, but I believe I had to go through this to be stronger and appreciate life and the value of friendship. I will close this by saying... I am truly sorry for adding any extra burden, pain, distrust and loss of hope in your life. I will be posting quite often to keep you updated. Until then...Peace and Love